Have you had a meltdown recently?
If so … you’re not alone. I, too, have been going through a phase in my life where there have been many-a-meltdown.
Luckily for me, I have come to learn over the years that a meltdown is just a message.
It’s a message from my self – my inner self / body / mind / soul – trying to get my attention.
So, rather than berate myself for being ‘too sensitive’ or ‘too emotional’ (as I have been labelled so many times in the past), I know there’s something in it. Something that I need to recognise, and probably make change on.
(That’s the thing about emotions – if you LISTEN to them, and allow them to teach you and evolve you, they are of great use!).
I have come to learn that I start getting into ‘meltdown-mode’ for any of the following three reasons:
1) I’m overwhelmed because I’ve overextended and overcommitted myself (I see women do this ALL THE TIME as well, then wonder why they are so exhausted …)
2. I’m being inauthentic (saying yes when I really want to say no, trying to change myself to please other people, trying to live up to someone else’s expectations of me, or comparing myself to others)
3. My hormones are imbalanced due to excess stress (when our precious lady hormones – including oestrogen and progesterone – and our stress hormones are all over the place, it’s very hard to NOT be an emotional wreck)
Can you relate to any of these? Do you do them, too? Can you see how they are all interlinked?
There’s a cycle I observe with women:
We don’t feel good enough so we search for approval >>>
This leads to us trying to be ‘superwoman’, overextending ourselves and saying yes to everything >>>
We prioritise ourselves LAST and end up completely stressed and exhausted >>>
Consequently, we burn out our adrenals, and end up with bad PMS and mood swings.
Honestly, this scenario plays out with nearly every woman I work with. And lately, it’s been playing out within my own life and body.
And so – I have had to stop, be still, and question:
>> WHY am I allowing this to happen again?
>> HOW did I slip back into my old ‘people pleasing’ ways?
>> WHEN did I start to believe that I wasn’t good enough just the way I was, and that what I was doing wasn’t enough … and then try to overcompensate, completely exhausting myself?
I’ve had to stop and have a good look at myself and my life, and deeply remember:
// I am doing enough.
// I don’t have anything to ‘prove’ to anyone.
// It is ok to let others down so that I can properly take care of myself.
// I can’t help others if I’m not helping myself …
And most of all, I have had to remember that even when I am just BEING – not racing around doing a million things for a million people – I am worthy. It is ok to rest. It’s ok to stop and be still and recuperate.
My meltdowns have been trying to guide me back to this message. What a beautiful thing!
No, I’m not too sensitive or too emotional (and neither are you). What I am, is a woman in touch with my own needs. And trying to help other women get in touch with theirs (and then, truly honour those needs).
And so, if this message resonates with you, I invite you to consider what your meltdown / emotions / hormones / PMS symptoms may be inviting YOU to recognise about your own life.
Be still, and invite in the answers. Deep down, you really do know where you need to pay better attention to yourself, where you need to firm up your boundaries, where you need to pull back.
And then, go forth with the courage to ACT on these things, remembering:
You are worthy of extending yourself the same time, love, energy, attention and resources, that you so willingly extend to everybody else.
Much love to you –
Naturopath / Women’s Life Coach
Stay connected with me.
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