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Care for yourself, so that you can also care for others.

A confusing time. 

When I got to around November last year (2019), I moved through a very confusing time where I considered fully closing down my business. 

When I say confusing, it really was. My business has always meant so much to me (and still does).

It’s taken me several months to explore the ‘why’ behind this. Why did I feel like I wanted to pack up everything that I’ve worked so tirelessly to create?

What I realised was:

For many years I have placed showing up for other people – even just here, in this online sphere, where I show up completely for free – before showing up for myself.

And I know that you can probably relate.

Listen …

There are SO many ways in which this can manifest. This is just one of them. If you are a person who cares about other humans, I’m willing to bet that you show up for so many others, before you show up for yourself. It’s kind of natural. It’s ingrained in us.

So, while in my personal life I became quite adept (eventually) at giving myself what I needed and putting myself ‘right up there’, I realised that this wasn’t the case in my work life. 

And so, I had to peel back the layers underneath this, as well. At the root of my overwork, was a fear that if I didn’t *consistently* show up for my business – like, every single day – everything that I’d worked very hard for, would all just wither away.

(This was largely linked to a year of pure *survival* in 2019, which, thankfully, I am past now).

And underneath THAT fear? Was a big lump of distrust. That is, not trusting that life / God / the universe would continue to support me in my life’s purpose.

In the past ten days or so I’ve pulled back from showing up daily from my business, and to be honest, it’s been hard. And that’s only ten days!!

So, I have work to do. On trusting. I am so good at trusting certain other things. But now I have to work on trusting this:

It’s ok to look after myself FIRST, and I trust that my business will be just fine, even when I do this.

Let me ask you …

How does this same situation potentially manifest for you? 

Maybe it’s finding it hard to say no to your kids, partner, or other family, so that you can look after you.

Maybe it’s something else.

But I truly believe that most of us still need to work on TRUSTING that even when we truly give ourselves what we need, our worlds will not fall apart … 

Thankfully, as I’ve reflected in the past week or so, I’ve realised, NO, of course I do not want to close my beautiful business … but, I do need to give *myself* a little bit more of my own time.

And that, I will gladly do, so that I can move forth and continue to serve other humans through the work that I love the most.


An important message. 

If you are someone who looks after another living being, or if another human relies on you in any way, please read this:

You cannot offer your greatest service to someone else, if you are not *also* offering your greatest service to your own self.

Read: you cannot serve someone else to the best of your ability if you are:

/ depleted

/ exhausted

/ sick

/ running on empty

Etc, etc, etc …

It just doesn’t work. Giving away energy you don’t have is not a sustainable equation.

Think about breathing. If you only ever exhaled, but never inhaled, you would die.

Likewise, if you only ever give, but never receive (even if you’re receiving from yourself), you will, in a sense, die – mentally, emotionally, spiritually, physically, you will feel so out of sorts.

I know you think that I have NO CLUE about your situation, and how much you have on your plate. And the truth is, I dont.

But I’m willing to risk people thinking that I’m being patronising, because I know this to be very true:

Caring people eventually can’t care anymore if they don’t *also* care for themselves. 

Again:

Caring people eventually can’t care anymore if they don’t *also* care for themselves. 

Don’t let yourself become an empty energetic cup. 

Like I found myself last November.

You are *so much more* helpful to others when you are doing really well. You have everything to give, when you give to yourself, too.

And if you’re an empty cup, if you’re at rock bottom, first acknowledge that. And then start filling your cup, drop by drop.

It’s not about trips to the massage parlour.

It’s about learning to extend yourself the same love, care, energy, attention, and other resources, that you would SO willingly extend to others, in small and sustainable ways, every single day.

Care for yourself so that you can care for others. It’s the only sustainable way to consistently be of service (without ending up burnt out and resentful).

With a lotta love,

Beth x

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