If you are conflict-averse (like I used to be), you may find yourself often suppressing your true needs.
The thing about learning to honour yourself, is this:
You must do the thing that scares you.
Most of us wonderful women are kind of SCARED to honour ourselves – because honouring ourselves often means conflict.
Truly honouring ourselves can often mean:
/ Saying no
/ Risking the loss of a relationship
/ Annoying someone
/ Letting someone down
/ Losing your ‘I can please everyone’ superwoman status
/ Getting super vulnerable by admitting you are NOT doing ok
/ Losing someone’s support
And so on, and so forth.
We bend and break ourselves to meet everyone’s needs, often because we are too scared to choose otherwise.
Sometimes, our (unconscious) need for external validation, causes us to make choices that really don’t serve us.
But let me tell you:
Whatever you lose in the process of becoming true to yourself … is not something you want in your life to begin with.
You want the people in your life to accept the real YOU.
With all your needs, dreams, and desires.
You want the people in your life to honour whatever it is that your body, heart, and soul truly require, in order to thrive.
You want the people in your life to back up (or step up!) when you are not doing well, and need space.
Do not constantly self-sacrifice, out of fear of losing someone or something. This will only lead to the pure pain that stems from suppressing your deepest needs.
As the years pass in my own life, I become better and better at this.
I can stick up for myself.
I know my worth.
I’m willing to have people not like me now (quite a change from the people pleasing ways of my teens and 20s).
I couldn’t care less if I fit in – in fact, I’d MUCH prefer to forge my own path.
I protect my health, my money, my business – because I have to.
Because I have developed strong enough self-worth, to know that I deserve what is fair.
And I deeply believe, that I don’t have to please everybody else, at the expense of my own well-being.
Of course, like all women, my true nature is an overly giving one. I give … a LOT. But when you learn your limits (and respect them) … it really changes your life! And giving becomes a pure joy. Rather than a resentment.
When you learn to give from the overflow of your full cup, that is when you are truly being of service.
Do you ever (or often) find yourself in situations where you know you absolutely have to take a stand, speak your truth, declare that enough is enough … but then you don’t, because you are too scared of the potential conflict?
If so, I encourage you to start doing the thing that scares you.
Speak up, even when your voice is shaking.
Say no, even when the pressure is really on.
I honestly dare you … to honour yourself!!
Do what you intuitively know is right for you.
A lot of people say … ‘I don’t really know what is intuitively right for me’.
I don’t believe that.
I never believe that.
I believe that our body, our emotions, our gut … they are forever guiding us.
You do know.
You know better than anyone, as soon as anything is asked of you, whether or not it feels right to let it in to your life, and your energy … or not.
Be really, really careful about what you pile onto YOUR life plate. This is so important. Your energy is not infinite. You are a physical being that requires rest, sleep, solitude, stillness.
Does this resonate?
Is there somewhere you need to speak up right now?
Something you need to say no to?
Precious life force energy leaks that need to be fixed?
Cultivate the courage to honour YOU … even when it’s so, so hard.
All love –
Naturopath / Women’s Life Coach // Melbourne, Australia / Skype
Stay connected with me.
I work as a Naturopath + Life Coach in Melbourne, Australia, and via Skype.
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