My whole life I never really felt like I could ‘keep up’ — I was always the one who was a nervous wreck, over sensitive, overwhelmed, burning out. Feeling like I could never keep up with what was ‘normal’.
Can you relate?
I deeply struggled with the idea that the only way to be a ‘success’ and have my needs met was to work all week in an office 8am-6pm, and then socialise all weekend, leaving no time to just BE, and to look after myself. It didn’t resonate at all.
I honestly didn’t understand how one was supposed to truly thrive living this way. How did one find time to cook properly, move their body daily (something which is SO important as our bodies are literally designed to MOVE), and wind down to balance their nervous system (so they could actually get to sleep at night). Let alone have space to cultivate a connection to their inner self, their soul.
I THOUGHT THERE WAS SOMETHING WRONG WITH ME.
I honestly did, for so many years. I thought I was the only person for whom modern society + life weren’t working.
Outside of work and study, I would spend SO much of my time alone, simply trying to recover my energy. I felt ‘anti-social’ but honestly, I was just trying to survive, because if I didn’t take this time to myself I would burn out (a lesson I’ve learnt sooooo many times).
I have said so many times to people … ‘I was literally not designed for this world, I actually don’t know how to live in it’.
But I now deeply realise that the modern society we live in, is actually founded upon burning out *at the expense* of our innate vitality and well-being … all in order to ‘achieve’.
It honestly places money, the acquisition of material possessions and real estate, and ‘status’ above what I believe truly matters – which is our connection to ourselves (body, mind and soul). And of course, our connection to each other.
This is the ‘normal’ that so many live by. Even when they are getting message after message from their bodies, from their inner guidance, that it isn’t working.
And then people end up on calls with people like me, their practitioner, looking for the answers as to why they feel like they are literally falling apart. And I have to tell them that supplements aren’t necessarily the answer to the deep life overhaul that their soul is begging from them.
Many call this version of modern life, this modern world, the Matrix.
And there is a crumbling of this Matrix happening NOW, as more and more and more people WAKE UP and realise that it’s no longer sustainable to live in this way (and never was).
It is, of course, necessary to work, save, earn money, and have the resources to create (if we wish) beautiful and comfortable lives that can be the foundation of our THRIVING – because, when we are thriving, we can serve the world in endlessly greater ways.
But when this pursuit of money and ‘things’ winds up with us wondering, what’s it all for? … then I truly believe it’s time for a RESET on our values, our actions, our choices, and our priorities.
(By the way, I cannot tell you how many times I have had people who have ‘ticked all the boxes’, say to me, I don’t even know what it’s all for).
‘Having it all’ by the definition of modern society, does NOT necessarily equal fulfilment.
Yesterday I said to a practitioner of mine … ‘I literally cannot push through anymore, at the expense of my wellness. I can’t and I won’t. I literally don’t have it in me anymore’.
And she said, ‘GOOD’.
She knows me well and she’s glad I’ve come so definitely to that conclusion. Because she, too, knows deeply, that to push ourselves, day after day (and for what ‘aim’???), is simply not sustainable.
We need to find ways of doing life, and achieving our intentions and goals, that don’t result in us falling apart.
This may mean that you ‘get what you want’ (aka, the house, the car, the promotion) a little later in life than you thought you would. So what?
This may mean that your business grows more slowly (but more sustainably, with stronger foundations, and someone running it who is NOT burnt out – YOU!). So what?
This may mean that you can no longer meet every single person’s expectations of you. That you turn down more social events, so you can say yes to your own very valid needs. This may mean people are ‘angry’ at you. So what?
We need to let go of this ‘timeline’ that society has imprinted upon us.
We need to come back to the innate rhythms of our SOUL. Letting go of external pressures, diving within, and asking, what do I really desire, and what is the most sustainable path and timeline for me to get there??
I am done moving through life trying to keep up with the timeline of society. (I was actually done with that about a decade ago).
I now march to the beat of my own drum. To the rhythm of my own spirit. And I know, and deeply trust, that life is providing me exactly what I need, as I need it, and that the deepest desires of my heart will be answered in perfect, divine timing.
So how, I hear you ask, can we unplug from this ‘Matrix’, and come back to the innate wisdom of our unique soul blueprint?
Well, for me, this has always been an inward journey. I learned long ago that no one and nothing outside of me has the answers that I seek.
All is within me, and as I cultivated the practices that I now rely on to keep me connected to my spirit, my internal guidance system, my connection to this inner wellspring of WISDOM only grew stronger.
By far, the greatest blessing of my life and the biggest gift I have ever given myself is that of a regular yoga practice; yoga connects me to my heart and soul, it is always there for me. I find myself on that mat, practice after practice. It’s a constant discipline to show up for it. And I’ve never once left a class and thought … I wish I didn’t go to yoga today.
For you? It could be something completely different.
But I do know it involves some sort of unplugging. Some version of ‘going inwards’ – whatever that looks like for you.
The answer? It’s connecting back to our soul truth – and living from THAT place (rather from a place of desiring to meet the externally imprinted expectations of … the Matrix).
Remember – you get to choose how you live your beautiful and precious life. Choose wisely!
With love –