If you often put yourself last, and end up burnt out because of it, then I have an important message that I want to share with you.
I have come to deeply realise throughout my experiences in my life, that when I don’t put myself first, I’m of no use to anyone.
It took me so many years to slowly peel back the layers of my excessively people pleasing self — looking at all of the ways I had been taught to be a ‘good little girl’, and how I was carrying this way of existing into my adult life.
I realised I was now a WOMAN, still trying to be a GOOD GIRL. And it wasn’t working.
When we are young, obeying all the rules and keeping the peace for everyone, is a way to ensure that we stay safe and protected. It’s actually a survival mechanism.
But as I grew into my autonomous adult self, and as I came to more deeply know the woman who I really am at my core, I realised that pleasing everyone at the expense of my own wellbeing, my own energetic boundaries, and my own fulfilment, was depleting my life force and leaving me in a perpetual state of resentment. It was keeping me so, so stifled.
It was stopping me from growing into my true purpose. I was too afraid to speak my truth because I didn’t want to upset anyone.
It was no longer sustainable to keep the peace for EVERYONE but myself.
In Astrology, I am also an Aries North Node, which means that one of my greatest lessons in this life is to learn to put myself first. (This has seriously been a very hard lesson for me).
And, in Human Design, I am the Manifestor — prone to burnout and literally unable to sustain the ‘go, go, go’ energy all of the time. I literally NEED rest or I truly burn out. After one too many episodes of such burnout, I finally got it. I didn’t want to do life in that way anymore.
As I very, very slowly experimented with putting myself and my needs first, I started to experience the magic of true wellness, and a feeling of true connection to my soul.
These days, it’s far more important to me to honour my soul and my body, than to be liked by everyone.
>> I am not here to please everyone. <<
I am here to be true to my soul path and my mission.
And when I please myself, first — by prioritising my physical, mental, emotional and spiritual health — I naturally end up pleasing the RIGHT people outside of me. Without burning out.
Because when my cup is full, I serve from the overflow.
Over time, I have learnt that this is the only sustainable way for me to do this life.
Some will call me selfish for this. But those that truly, truly know me (a beautiful and cherished handful of people), will know that to help others is my absolute greatest joy in this life. But I can’t help others if I’m not helping ME, too.
I will always, always serve other people. It’s in my blood. But I will first and foremost meet my own needs, and with the energy generated from these constant acts of self-love, I will THEN serve others.
It’s not selfish to ensure your own thriving. In fact, when you thrive, you can help infinitely more people to thrive as well.
So, as we collectively experience the disruption of our ‘normal’ lives right now, can you take this opportunity to decide what ways of being were no longer working for you in the past?
And, decide how you would prefer to move forward?
Because the old ways of pushing, forcing and striving to the point of burnout, are no longer going to be sustainable (they actually never were).
We are being called to step into a new way of existing, in which we actually get to thrive (rather than exist in survival).
Are you up for the change?
What needs to change for YOU?
Tune in to your HEART which has the answers.
I also recorded a video blog about this topic, which you can watch just below.