Years ago, I used to visit a very wise and dear reiki therapist, who continually tried to teach my 23-year-old self one very important lesson:
That sometimes, ‘it just is’.
A decade later, I feel like I’m *finally* starting to get it.
‘It just is’.
Life delivers us circumstances, events, people … that are beyond our control. But – our acceptance of their place in our life, in our experience, is very much within our control.
Surrendering to life, and accepting things exactly as they are? It can happen only when we stop GRIPPING – and start to deeply trust that we are in exactly the right place.
It’s no mean feat, I know. In times of despair, there is usually zero evidence that things are going to work out just fine, or that things are ‘unfolding precisely as they should be’.
It is a blind faith, this idea of trusting our life. Of trusting our human experience.
But after struggling against this for years, I’ve come to know that the only alternative to the angst and stress that I create for myself when I perceive that things aren’t panning out ‘properly’, is to sink into my mantra:
‘It just is’.
These three words have truly taught me grace.
Because grace happens when we don’t get our way, but we don’t flip out about it. We don’t even want to flip out about it.
I’m not suggesting that when life forks off in directions that we don’t necessarily want to be moving in, that we simply do nothing about it.
What I am suggesting, though, is that when things don’t go our way, we find a response that is more accepting – and in turn, we are more quickly able to move past the ‘event’. Because we all know that when we are stuck in a place of reactive emotion, problem solving isn’t exactly at its greatest capacity. Our ability to communicate calmly and clearly flies out the window. Often, we turn into versions of ourselves that we aren’t proud of.
So, it isn’t about ‘copping’ things that upset us. Rather, it’s about moving through them with more grace and ease.
When you get held up by something beyond your control – it just is.
When you’re utterly exhausted – it just is.
When you seem to consistently be taking one step forward, two steps back – it just is.
When you’re utterly heartbroken – it just is.
When someone doesn’t ‘get’ you, or criticises you – it just is.
When you’ve lost something near and dear to you – it just is.
Because, often, it’s when we finally embrace what’s truly happening for us, that it can start to change.
Disperse resistance. Be with whatever is happening for you. Know that, it will eventually pass (it will). Trust.
I’ve found myself practicing this more and more lately, and it’s getting easier.
Yoga helps (like, really helps). Yoga is hands down the only thing I have ever found that gets me to a place of deep enough presence, that I can access this inner knowing: ‘it just is’.
Life is extremely humbling.
I deeply believe, that it is always delivering us what is required, in order to help us grow into the people we are meant to become. And it’s different for all of us.
It’s easy to wonder why some people’s lives seem ‘easier’ or ‘better’ than others. But the fact is – we are all on a different journey. Life is not easy for anyone – but if you can begin to truly deepen your faith in LIFE, and your trust that the journey you are on is perfect for YOU, then you may find it easier to start to accept + surrender to what is going on for you.
Above all, remember this: every time something ‘bad’ happens in your life, consider whether it is, in fact, really that ‘bad’.
Chances are, if you are reading this blog, on some sort of device, you are pretty blessed. You know? We really do have so much to be grateful for. When you keep this in perspective, those little annoyances suddenly don’t seem all that annoying anymore.
You are alive. What a gift.
With that – wishing you grace, ease, acceptance and surrender as you move ahead with your day, your week, your year.